Wednesday, March 12, 2008

confidence misplaced

Sometime ago, an incident etched itself in my mind as "amazing". A beautiful and animated woman on a busy pub night was "having a ball" surrounded by a whole lot of attentive suits, ties, checkered shirts et al.

She laughed easily, flirted admirably, and graciously gave everyone a spin on the dance floor.
She was obviously enjoying herself immensely as were the moths dancing around her flame.
So where did the "amazing" part come in? Well, our lady of the night also happened to be about 25 kgs overweight.

But did this bother her admirers? Apparently not. The guys were not drunk and there were enough other good-looking women in the pub getting a lot less attention, if not just a passing glance! What was going on? Was the blind man's association holding a conference? Overweight Anonymous? What was it that held her in attention like that.....?

Now, these guys were all good-looking types with their major senses intact. It was her, of course. She carried herself - and her extra weight, i may add - with a supremely confident air. She couldn't have cared less what anyone thought. If you liked the way she looked, great. If you didn't, your bad luck!

An attitude like that catches a man's attention at the immediate and causes men who wouldn't typically find someone like her attractive, suddenly and surprisingly - even to themselves - doing just that. This answers one pertinent alltime question : what makes a woman attractive...to men? and who is the judge? - It has to be other woman -the skinny, no curves, devoid expression woman!

So what do guys really want….?

Magzines, critics, the so called experts, all did a survey about what men find sexy in women - and not surprisingly it revealed that men like intelligence, knowledge, confidence, and straightforwardness more than perfect bodies, well endowed vital statistics, baby soft skin, and gorgeous hair. Chances are, they don't really care about it. One guy actually loved the flabby waistline as it gave the woman more substance and yet another was shocked to discover that his friend had spent Rs 2 lacs to enhance her assets! Now, she looked like everyone else - so why did she do that - whose version of beauty was she adhering to?

Now we all know that men see the world in a strange manner... at the end of it all the bottomline is how a woman looks is less important than what she thinks about how she looks! Its not as if men love overweight women but there are too many women spending time majorly on a wish list that is not taking them anywhere. It has been said very aptly that the type of girlfriend a guy has is not necessarily the woman he marries.

Thus, get a conventional image of beauty and you wonder what men really want. Get a contemprory image and you realise thats not what men are looking for. You're liable to be wrong both times, but more importantly, if the image you've come up with is a far cry from your reality, you'll be in a down syndrome! So be as you are with loads of confidence - even if it is often misplaced!

And believe me, you'll be the best!

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